WARNING GRUESOME STORY

I feel finally like my future is bright! I went to the Bucksport Vet's office and got to observe what happens in a normal day, well surgical day.I got up early that morning showered and had some breakfast and went to Dunkin Donuts and bought a dozen donuts to earn brownie points.


They were pretty excited about there donuts and welcomed me right in. The veterinary technician immediately put anesthesia in a cat and set him on the table after he was groggy and limp. She showed me how to clip the toenails and I clipped the nails while she pulled the hair off the operating area, AKA the scrotum. Then the doctor, Dr. Hunt, walked in put on gloves cut open the scrotum and pushed out the Testes. He stretched out the sack and twisted off the arteries of the testes. He then cut them off tied a knot with the forceps, and pushed it back in the sack. Then he sewed up the small incision and left the room. It took all about 15 minutes tops.

After that surgery we monitored his vitals for a few minutes then we covered him up checked his reflexes to make sure that he was waking up correctly and put him back in his cage. Then we got the next patient ready by giving him a full once over and then doctor Hunt gave him his shots including the anesthesia. We put him back in his cage until he was groggy enough to come out. Then we flipped the other cat onto his opposite side to help him wake up and to keep the blood flowing.

After we got the second cat done, we did the same for the third, except her surgery was different due to the fact she, was a her. we tied down her limbs and shaved the incision area and sterilized it as best we could. Then Doctor Hunt came in and made an incision. Then then brought up the ovaries tied them off and cut them almost the same as a male cat but it took longer.

The female dog was the longest and most complicated due to the ligament. The ligament that attatches the Ovaries to the back of the body is stronger than a cat which just tears during removal. It's also in a blind area so vet's have to dig around to pull it up and cut it.

One cat we worked on had a heart murmur and had to have extra monitoring. It was kind of an uncommon thing to hear and I hope that she didn't clot because of the surgery.

The Things I miss

Lately I've been feeling a little overwhelmed. I miss the summer, I miss having time to myself. I miss being outside without feeling the cold, icy wind on my skin. I miss spending time with my horses, and the people in the summer time. I miss Riverside Wesleyan Camp and all the people there.

I miss being little and not having to worry about trivial things like, gas, money, work, school, being above everyone else so I can get scholarships. I miss being able to take naps and not having to do chores.

I miss not having to worry about my future. I miss not getting anxiety about the littlest things. I miss just crying about scraped knees and not getting my way. Now, it's like if there's any sort of stress, and something happens it just causes me to just breakdown and either cry or just get really frustrated.

I have changed a lot this past year. I no longer care about what people think about me or what I think and I hate when they judge. I embraced the fact that I'm a woman and I can wear girly things without being a girly girl. and yet, I don't miss my past self. I was weak back then and now I'm strong. I have been through a lot and I can't wait until this summer when I can show it off and truly be myself, shining like the summer sun.

High Expectations

Sometimes I just feel really tired. Does anyone else ever feel that way? Sometimes I just feel so stressed out about every little thing, no matter how minor the issue seems to be. Especially this year, during my senior year of high school. Every year seems to add more and more stress to life itself.

Last year when I started working at a legitimate job (where I had to pay taxes), it seemed more stressful than ever. As a C.N.A. people automatically assume that you're going to do everything correctly the first time and every time. They also believe that everyone gets the best treatment they can get and that our job is easy. We do our best everyday we are there. They don't seem to realize that we have several different residents, with several different needs, and people who think they need more help than they do. We are always constantly running around helping someone and when we finally have five minutes of silence when everything is done and nobody is ringing their bell to ask for something, we rest briefly. Then everyone gets mad and calls us lazy. Nobody even tries to understand how hard we work as C.N.A.'s  to provide the best care as promptly and efficiently as possible. Still nobody seems to be happy with the care they get, and it's frustrating.

 It's just like being a high school student in a lot of ways, and I'm tired of having to either live by everyone else's high standards. If we don't get good grades everyone get's their panties in a bunch. They expect us to learn multiple subjects at a time, do homework, sports, after school activities, volunteer, work, do chores, have a social life, sleep eight hours a day, and keep ourselves healthy and sane. To me that totally impossible.

Either way I don't care what other people think I should do, I will just try my best and succeed in my own ways.

My Job is good though and I really enjoy the residents I get to spend time with and their families. It gets hard sometimes but I know in the end it's really all worth it. I also don't hate school, it's just difficult and sometimes I just get sick of doing the difficult work with no easy breaks. If teachers would just alternate between weeks of their classes being difficult I would be fine, but I know that's not how life works.


I will continue to fight through every hardship because I know in the end it will all work out for the best.

What is my life about?

What is my life about?

My life is gaming, homework, work, my best friend, and my boyfriend.
I am boring.

Take yesterday for instance I worked on my make up work from missing a week, which I didn't get finished due to getting sick again and then I talked to my boyfriend all night.


Other normal nights consist of working from 3-7 or 3-11pm, or skipping all my homework to play league of legends, hearthstone, dragon age, etc. Hearthstone being my favorite game due to it being pretty simple and I can beat Christian at it. Druid is my favorite hero because the cards he get are the perfect combination of secrets, beasts, and healing magic. League of Legends gets way too frustrating though and it's hard for me to keep playing it. I have quite figured out what I like and what I don't like yet. That's on top of doing small chores which I get yelled at for never completing. Like my teachers and my homework.

Generally the only homework I end up completing before school the next day is Math, because in my opinion that's the only one that helps us retain information, or realize we aren't when we believe we are. Other than that I believe every class should just do class work and if they don't use it then they should get a bad grade. Simple as that. I only believe this because of how hard the life of a teenager is to balance out. Between hormones, parents, school, work, college prep, bad home life, and just everyday pressures and pleasures we are busy.

I just hope in the end it's all worth it because sometimes I look at people who have worked hard all their life and where they end up and the financial situation they end up in and I just loose hope sometimes.

The thing is though I want to try. I want to be one of these people that ends up with their "high school sweetheart", gets married, finishes school gets well paying jobs an lives in a small town, has a few kids and just has the perfect life.